Weekend ends here.

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God i have so much to blog about!

So most people look forward to the weekend, i dread it, it means complete loss of structure, routine, and with that i have a tendenct to wave goodbye to my control, as it sails away in a paper ship.

On a brighter note this weekend wasnt too bad, i did go over 500, which is what i've been restricting too, but no days were above 800. And that was only because in the UK we had bonfire night on Thursday, so there were a good few parties over the weekend.

That was all kind of ruined, when i had a massive argument with my mum, and she pretty much threw me out. God i love my ever-so conventional, and functional family. So now im living about 4 miles away from before with my dad. Which is great, i prefer him to my mum anyway, harsh as they may sound. But on the anamia front, my dad buys shit loads of food cause he has rate good metabolism, so can just eat what the fuck he wants. I obviously have my mums dealings were metabolism is concerned, cheers for that.

So yeah, now im crashing here, its pretty wierd, like, i hardly saw my dad before, and now im living here. I dont know how long it will be for, but it kind of feels like a fresh start. A new day if you like.

Were things will be better, i will be thinner and more beautiful, and i WILL stop messing around with drugs. (Weed excluded.)

Toffee Fucking apples, who thought up that beautiful mess. To take a perfectly good healthy low cal fruit, and cover it in sugar. Over the whole bonfire endeavour, io've only had 1 toffee apple, and that was on a day where i hadnt had much else, so i suppose it wasnt too bad really i'm just fretting.
I hope i havent gained.

I havent weighed myself this weekend cause of moving and stressing, and crying and breaking down, and partying, drowning my sorrows in a pile of misconstrued drugs, sleeping, but not quite sleeping, more just a fidgety restless mess in the middle of my bed. with pins and needles in my arms and legs so i think im having a heart attack and worry that i might die and go into cold sweats until its time to get up and go to work looking google eyed and judder-jawed.

I have to stop this shit.